10 Lessons in Resilience I Live By

Lessons in tenacity from my mentors, this week's challenge, and how Kobe Bryant found greatness (hint: he wasn't born with it)

Oct 30, 2023

Welcome to The Art of Becoming.

This is the Do Hard Shit Monday Edition.

The Art of Becoming is a newsletter about finding value in adversity and embracing discomfort. Each week, I share how to find fulfillment, a little joy, be more resilient, wiser, and a little better. It starts with you and me embracing discomfort—by doing hard shit.

I hope you join me.

At a glance

Ten lessons (plus one BONUS LESSON) on tenacity. My mentors came from books. To them, life was a gift from God and a fight to survive. These are their lessons.
This week’s challenge: 100 burpees in 10 minutes.
Video: Kobe Bryant’s coach details how Kobe Bryant found greatness. It’s something everyone can do.

greyscale photography of a boxer inside reing — Photo by Wade Austin Ellis on Unsplash

Life is one part dog fight (see the bonus lesson) and one part reward.

To get to the reward, I learned you have to fight. And the fight will be bloody, messy, and brutal.

But that’s okay. You and me, we’re fighters.

Fighting alone is hard, especially when the odds are against you.

Mike Tyson had legendary boxing trainer Cus D’Amato to teach him how to box and what to do when life knocked him down.

Oprah Winfrey called Maya Angelou her mentor.

I was not blessed to know my mentors.

My coaches came from books. They were men and women who struggled and suffered but somehow found a way to win. They were masters in life.

Being influenced by history and books is not unusual. Nelson Mandela learned from Mahatma Gandhi even though they never met. Marcus Aurelius acknowledged the impact of Epictetus’ teachings on his life in Meditations.

Reading books taught me how the world’s greatest minds lost battles and came back stronger and better after each one.

These men and women are great not because they ran 100 miles in 16 hours or less, won a Pulitzer Prize, or became the heavyweight champion of the world.

They’re great because the lessons they learned can be applied to our lives.

Let’s get to it.

David Goggins (Navy Seal and Ultra Endurance Runner)

“A warrior is not a person that carries a gun. The biggest war you ever go through is right between your own ears. It's in your mind. We're all going through a war in our mind, and we have to callus our mind to fight that war and to win that war.”

Everything starts in the mind. Either you’re a slave to your thoughts, or you’re the master of them.

Frederick Nietzsche (Philosopher)

“…the worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself; you lie in wait for yourself in caverns and forests.” —From Thus Spake Zarathustra.

You will always be your worst critic. Self-doubt isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It keeps you humble and can motivate you to learn and consider all the options. But don’t give it more attention than it deserves. Give yourself the freedom to make mistakes. That’s where growth comes from.

Maya Angelou (Poet, writer, child abuse survivor)

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
’Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
(From the poem, Still I Rise)

It does not matter what you do to me. Kick me, beat me, take away everything, and still I rise.

Jack Dempsey (Heavyweight Boxing Champion)

“A champion is someone who gets up when he can’t.”

It’s easy to fight when the odds are in your favor. But what does it say about the person who falls broken, bloody, afraid and then stands to get back into the fight?

Albert Camus (Philosopher and writer)

“Sometimes carrying on, just carrying on, is the superhuman achievement.”

I watched a little girl live through twenty operations, 52 rounds of chemo, enough radiation to light up a house for a year, and a bone marrow and stem transplant so she could beat cancer…TWICE. Compared to her, I’m a crybaby.

Nelson Mandela (First president of South Africa)

“Do judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

Life is easy when you win, but how do you judge yourself when you fail? Do you make excuses, or do you get back up?

Mizuta Masahide (17th-century poet and samurai)

“My barn having burned down, I can now see the moon.”

Find the blessing in every tragedy.

Mary Oliver (Poet)

“Someone I once loved gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.”

Sometimes, the greatest gift you will ever receive is pain. Don’t run from pain. Jump into it.

Marcus Aurelius (Roman emperor and philosopher)

“Not to assume it’s impossible because you find it hard. But to recognize that if it’s humanly possible, you can do it too.”

A friend told me he can’t dunk a basketball. I told him he could. Impossible, he said. Use a ladder, was my reply. If someone else can do it, so can you. Find a way.

Epictetus (Former slave and philosopher)

“Every event has two handles, one by which it can be carried, and one by which it can’t. If your brother does you wrong, don’t grab it by his wronging, because this is the handle incapable of lifting it. Instead, use the other—that he is your brother, that you were raised together, and then you will have hold of the handle that carries.”

You can blame others for your pain. You can be angry and never forgive. Or you can see that your brother, neighbor, or the man who cut you off on the freeway is human and deserves forgiveness like you. Which handle will you grab?

Bonus Lesson from Eric Thomas (Author and pastor)

Life is a dog fight.

You will fall behind. Someone will try to take what’s yours. That’s just life. So fight like you’re fighting off a pack of wild dogs.

This Week’s Challenge: 100 Burpees

The challenge is simple:

Do 100 burpees in 10 minutes or less.

Modification: If you can’t do a burpee, do 100 jumping squats in 10 minutes or less.

The Extreme Challenge: 200 burpees in 20 minutes or less.

This video shows how to do a burpee. Good luck.

How Kobe Bryant Approached Life and Found Greatness

In this video, Byron Scott (Kobe’s last coach before he retired) talks about how his star player would text him at four in the morning. Coach Scott’s description of Kobe Bryant’s work ethic shows what it takes to be great. You need to approach every day like it is your last day. Enjoy.