Welcome to The Art of Becoming, a newsletter about finding value in adversity and embracing discomfort. Each week, I share an idea you can use in your life and business to find fulfillment and be more resilient and joyful.
And it starts with you and me embracing discomfort.
I hope you join me.
Lord Byron said there are only four questions of value in life. Asking and answering them will change your life. Forever.
These questions took the entirety of my life for me to answer. On face value, they are simple and unassuming. But each one demanded I search deep inside, scratch beneath the false veneer I call my persona, and dig through all the shit and muck to find the truth.
The answers scared me because I realized I was not always a good man. I could have done better, and I could have done more with my life.
But I’m grateful I asked and found answers. You can only grow if you're willing to ask the hard questions.
There are four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love. – Lord Byron
What does that mean to you?
You and I are Don Octavio, and Lord Byron is demanding that we become seekers of truth—our truth.
Let’s get started.
What is sacred?
This is your purpose.
Your life purpose is the intrinsic motivation that guides you towards meaningful goals, shapes your actions, and gives direction to your life.
It makes each person's journey unique, providing a sense of fulfillment and contributing to a greater sense of well-being and satisfaction. This journey is your sacred place.
Joseph Campbell said your sacred place where you can find yourself over and over again.
Mother Theresa found her sacred place in the streets of Calcutta. Dr. Martin Luther Jr. found his purpose in fighting for civil rights and justice.
Don’t worry. Your purpose does not have to save the world. However, it must elevate and empower to be sacred.
You find your sacred place when your purpose serves others. If you are the only one benefiting, then 'your purpose' is not sacred.
A sacred thing does not solve all problems. It may not solve any of your problems, but it will solve someone’s problem.
When you do what you consider holy and sacrosanct, when you are in your sacred place, you give meaning to your struggles and a reason for your life.
Of what is the spirit made?
These are your values. It is your character.
Marcus Aurelius wrote instead of talking about being a good man, be a good man.
Heraclitus said our character is our fate. Your values determine your destiny.
Are you a good person? Do you know your destiny?
When Florence Lomariwo was nine years old, she ran away from her village in Kenya to escape female genital mutilation (FGM) and early marriage.
Florence finished school and went on to earn a degree in education. Eventually, she married. She wanted to help other women have the same choice, so she started a school that rescues young girls from FGM and early marriage.
What is your spirit made of? At 3 a.m., are you someone's first call in an emergency or last resort?
If the answer scares you, then you know what to work on.
What is worth living for?
Nietzsche said, "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how."
My oldest daughter is a two-time cancer survivor.
When she had cancer the second time, she wanted to be an ordinary 20-year-old woman, to be in college, hang out with her friends, do an internship in Washington D.C., and graduate. But she wasn't normal. She had stage IV cancer. The doctors said she was going to die.
Her reason was to live so she could return to college and graduate. That's it. Nothing more than that.
But it was enough. She went through 20 months of chemo, radiation therapy, two surgeries, six blood infections, months in the hospital, and two dozen blood transfusions.
Misha almost died a couple of times. Nothing fazed her—she wanted to live and be normal. Misha lived and went back to college.
Everyone has a reason worth living for. What's yours?
What is worth dying for?
The answer to this question can answer the previous three.
Benjamin Keefe Clark was a chef preparing meals for the Fiduciary Trust Company on September 11, 2001, when the World Trade Center was struck.
He had two choices: run or stay and help. Clark chose not to escape. Before he died, he helped hundreds get to safety.
Benjamin Clark was willing to die so others would live. Some were his friends and work colleagues, but most were strangers. Everyone that day was worth dying for.
What or who would you die for?
For me (and maybe you), the answer to each question is always the same. Love.
It all comes down to love.
I started the Art of Becoming to learn what it takes to be happier, wiser, and wealthier.
I discovered that I had to ask better questions if I wanted to be happier, wiser, or wealthier.
One of the many qualities that separate self-made billionaires from the rest of us is their ability to ask the right questions. – Justine Musk
Thanks for reading. I hope you ask the right questions and find the answers you’re looking for.
Love to you and yours,
Michael