Welcome to The Art of Becoming.
The Power of Five Ideas Friday edition.
The Art of Becoming is a newsletter about finding value in adversity and embracing discomfort. Each week, I share how to find fulfillment, a little joy, be more resilient, wiser, and a little better. It starts with you and me embracing discomfort—by doing hard shit.
I hope you join me.
At a glance
The seven things you should never tell anyone.
Morning questions that will power your day.
A framework to leverage your greatest resource.
The world’s most important quote.
Video of David Goggins: Pretty Soon You Will Win.
7 Things You Should Never Tell People
Your plans. When you share your plans, you allow people to undermine or talk you out of your dreams. Telling people your plans is a premature reward before you do the work. Do the work first, then tell the world.
How much money you make. Keep your finances to yourself. Don't tell your friends or family. Don't evoke feelings of jealousy, theirs or yours, between anyone. Always keep them guessing.
Past mistakes. The better part of wisdom is prudence. The philosopher Baltasar Gracián said it best: "All men make mistakes, but the wise conceal the blunders they have made, while fools make them public. Reputation depends more on what is hidden than on what is seen. If you can’t be good, be careful." Keep your mistakes to yourself. When you tell people about your failures, they will always see the failure and rarely your wins.
Your secret or anyone else's. Baltasar Gracián said, "He who communicates his secret to another makes himself that other's slave." Trust is the ultimate currency. When you share another's secret, you lose trust. Trust is the equity we build with each other. Once it’s gone, it’s gone for good.
Acts of kindness. Being charitable is a good thing. Done anonymously is even better. A humble person doesn't need to brag. Knowing they helped someone is their reward.
Past success. There are two times to brag: on your resume and when you're asking for a raise. The most successful people keep their successes to themselves unless they're Donald Trump. They let their actions speak for themselves. Bragging makes you look stupid (again, think Donald Trump). When you brag, you lose respect and make enemies. Like your secrets, keep your successes to yourself.
Your next move. Keep everyone guessing, or better yet, let them think you're a nobody. Let your actions and results speak for themselves.
7-morning questions I stole from Tony Robbins, plus one bonus power question
What am I most happy about in my life now?
What am I most excited about in my life now?
What am I most proud of in my life now?
What am I most grateful for in my life now?
What am I enjoying most in my life right now?
What am I committed to in my life right now?
Who do I love? Who loves me?
[Bonus question] How can I best be the version of myself today?
The average person thinks around 6200 thoughts per day. I suspect most of them are centered around the negative. Our brains move in the direction of what we focus on, and the questions we ask determine our focus.
This means the quality of our life will rise or fall to the quality of our questions. If you want to change your life, then change your focus. That starts with the questions you ask yourself.
The first seven questions are from Tony Robbins' book Unleash the Power Within. I believe this book should be on everyone’s self-improvement bookshelf.
The last question ties the other questions together. Living the best version of yourself will make you happier, excited, and grateful, and feel loved.
Remember, it’s the best version of who you are right now. Not who you were yesterday or last year. And it’s not someone else’s best version of you. Yours alone.
Every morning, I write the questions and answers in my journal, which steers me to a more positive and fulfilled life.
Try it for 30 days and see if your life moves in a more positive direction.
Framework to leverage your greatest resource
Death costs you nothing, but life is expensive.
I watched my brother-in-law struggle with cancer. I saw the effect it had on him and my sister. His last two years were pierced with pain and agony punctuated with tears and prayers. And laughter. He loved to laugh.
He fought for each breath and sunrise. He battled death for the joy of seeing his bride smile a few extra days more.
And the price he paid for another day of life was pain and then even more pain. He was willing to pay it for a little more time.
Time is our most important resource, yet we waste our days as if it’s an unlimited resource. We forget the number of seconds we have is limited.
Time is, literally, your life.
Each moment you live, whether joyfully or callously, is one step closer to death.
Death costs you nothing. It’s free.
But a good life, or a bad one, will cost you everything.
Lesson: Live your life as if you are dying because you are. Treat each moment as precious.
Quote everyone should live by
Respect yourself if you would have others respect you. —Baltasar Gracián
If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will.
Someone might love you if you don’t love yourself, but you won’t feel you deserve it.
Video I’ve watched over and over this week
When will you win?
When you put in the practice.
When you work on yourself.
When you believe you have everything it takes to win.
Courage. Belief. Determination. Perseverance.
Don’t quit. Show up every day.
Take the hits, and when you need to, hit back.
That’s what it takes.
Thanks for reading. Ask the right questions, and you’ll get the best answers. Stay strong.
Love to you and yours,
Michael